Dear {Financial Aid Director}:
I am honored and excited to have been admitted to {College Name}. I am currently a senior at {high school}, and it has long been my dream to attend your university and study {major} with likeminded students.
I am writing in the hopes that you can consider increasing my financial aid package.
While {College Name} is my first choice, I have been offered a higher award from {College Name}. In a perfect world, finances would not be among the top considerations, but given my family's limited funds, and my intention to ultimately attend graduate school, I really need to keep student loans to a minimum.
I am convinced that {College Name} is an ideal fit for me. I am so impressed with the professors and am certain that the faculty-student ratio would help me reach my full potential. I would also be able to apply my experience in {club/leadership role/activity} to your school's {related opportunity}.
I've attached a copy of the merit scholarship offer from {competing College Name} so that you might consider bringing my award in line with it. A match would mean so much to me, and I deeply appreciate your time and thoughtful consideration.
Thank you in advance. I look forward to hearing from you.
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